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30 Things I have learned before turning 30

3/26/2020

Whenever I hear the age 30, Often times I get scared of it back when I was in my 20's and that was a decade ago. I had such a wonderful plan targetting each year I get older and since I am and raised in a Filipino Culture, we had this connotation that I have to get married by the age of 25 and raise kids or I'll be left out. I feared to be left out in any way possible that I could imagine at the back of my mind. But here's the thing, As those years had passed you got to embrace that things are different than the way it was before and embracing it brought a lot of joys and tears along. 



A month ago, I have celebrated my 30th birthday. A literal Single - No child, No husband nor a partner. Before I was hitting my age, I was going a lot of feels and it has been dragging me for some time. I was scared that I may wane things off.  Things like these have brought me to my alone time, A time for me to reflect on the past decade every now and then.

  1. Be specific. No one is born in mediocrity. Our parents have taught us how to reach for the stars and that star is within you. You gotta be the best that you can be and be specific on what you think you deserve. No one deserves less of what they think. 
  2. Write down your goal. Writing your goals will help you achieve it. It gives you clarity on the end result that you wanted. Add a date on when you want to achieve it. It worked well with me and it should work with you too. 
  3. You're one decision away from your goal. In my previous post, I mentioned how many times I flanked in my college years but I didn't regret it because it taught me valuable things that the only experiences would allow me to. I was supposed to graduate in 2011 and took me 3 years to accomplish it and by the time I decided to graduate by 2014. All things were all worth it and the following year I had my license in 2015. My wrong turns gave me life lessons and it's something that I would cherish, up to now, I still stumble and make wrong terms but this time I know its a lesson for me to take.
  4. Create a life that you deserve. We have our own dreams and we want things to happen and when we reach it we should never forget the things that brought us to that wonderful journey. 
  5. Never let your talent go to waste. Everyone is unique, we got talents that we acquired through practice and there are talents that are innate, don't put these talents in jeopardy. Do well and share it whenever you can.
  6. Learn how to forgive yourself and those who never asked for it. It's being at peace with yourself from the mistakes and regrets you felt over the past years and forgive yourself and the people who have hurt you and move-on and see the beauty of life and the wonders of it.
  7. Give Back. My mom would often encourage me to give back and though I agree with her, Every year we always make it to a point to donate to an institution without having our names labeled. For me, A true giver is not to have your names are written on the donation envelope. 
  8.  Stand up for yourself. One of the biggest regrets is that we prolong the longevity of people taking advantage of us. We help the neediness of people who we try to accommodate and yet we felt left out because we felt unworthy. It has to start by saying NO without an explanation.
  9. You are your own happiness. We don't share the same journey and as individuals, we experience different things and handle different things the way we perceive it. The opinion of other people is not something we should dwell on.
  10. Write your reflection. Up to this day, I keep a diary and y thoughts and experiences, good or bad is written in there. it gives me a reflection on the things I could do better and I think we all need that. In this social media and materialistic world, we focused our energy on temporary things that we forgot on how to live on what is important.
  11. Write those Baddass breathtaking list. Write the things that you have been wanting to do but fear gets on the way. I tried a few things but sometimes it takes a little more push to do those things again. How about Bungee jumping, Canyoneering, Skydiving, and the list goes on. Enjoy things that make you happy and try things you want to explore. It's no wonder how many trials and errors I have gone through. From writing this blog, baking and selling cakes at bazaars and whatever my mind has set-on. I would try to explore and follow the trend and see whether I'd like to continue it in the long haul. 
  12. Get that haircut. Every woman needs a haircut, but a haircut isn't just you feel like maintaining it for a trim. It means a more powerful message that you want something new and bolder risk you want to take for yourself.
  13. Breaking up with friends. It's normal to break up with friends whom you know longer see eye to eye, it doesn't say that either one of you is a bad friend. It only means that many of life events between you are no longer aligned and you are growing apart but then you'll always be friends despite those shifts of priorities.
  14. Self Care. Every day is a Self-Care day, we need to relax and enjoy a quiet time in our own space may it be a home or just a place where you feel relaxed. Enjoying the things you love and be able to nurture your inner peace. We must also never forget that our health is our wealth, We spend too much on our careers and other extra-curricular activities and have forgotten the basic core of life is to keep our bodies healthy. Health is our wealth and we should take care of this.  
  15. Make everyday special. I enjoy quick meet-up with friends, this kind of randomness makes me go away from my daily routine. Catching them up makes both our days special and when we are determined to make someone's day special, one could go the extra mile. 
  16. Reality is in the eyes of the beholder. 2 persons may be in the same spot but will never have the same thoughts and experience. We just have to understand the other in order to see and understand the shoes that they are wearing.
  17. Life at the moment.  Social media helped us reach out to many people and sometimes because of too much exposure we tend to forget that there is more to it. Instead, we should interact more and live with the moment with our families and friends. Social Media helps us get connected, why not do Tiktok with Family when bored?
  18. Invest Small. I have been a financial savvy back then all I thought was the NOW. Young and Carefree, I was solving things that will solve my small goals until I realized as I grow older, some small things are of no value. It gave me temporary happiness - retail therapy. So when I decided to invest, I invested a small amount of 1,000 PHP ($20 - $25) per month and took me a while to get used to it. I still have this account as a reminder of me that I just have to start somewhere and learn things later. 
  19. Listen to your Intuition. How many times you have neglected your intuition? I did more than I used to but many times we should listen to it, it's like the angels and Gods telling us what we should be doing.
  20. Say it when you need to be heard. Often times we keep our thoughts and opinions for ourselves to avoid conflict with the other person. Our thoughts is powerful enough to get the point and constructing our thoughts into words without getting into conflict keeps us at way on how we point out our point of view and that's where a healthy conversation lasts.
  21. Leaving behind the toxic people. I find it hard to say no to people and that makes me feel guilty. Only to realize that I was eating myself inside, it takes time and reflection before you can own yourself again allowing to go through a process of loving yourself again. It takes one person out of the list until the next one and there you'll see another door opening brighter than before. Be careful with the snake's eyes. Not all people will love you and admire you. Not all in your circle is in your circle. These people are hardly seen as toxic and waiting for you to be their prey. 
  22. Never be afraid to ask for help. We were once a child who was helpless and when we feel stuck we asked for help and it doesn't matter how old we are. We just have to ask for help when we needed one and if they say No., there will be someone who would be happy to help you. 
  23. Acknowledge other people's strengths. We can't handle things on our own so we asked help from other people to do things for us and if we can't, there is another way to get that kind of help is by hiring them. Focus on your strengths and what you feel like doing. 
  24. Life is full of surprises.  Don't take things seriously. You just have to laugh and enjoy the things that happened after some time in dealing with what had just happened. Things may go out of hand but it won't last long and often times these little surprises made the most memories. 
  25. Gratitude makes our hearts full. Not all things go well according to our plans but these things might have happened to give us learning and exercise our little more patient and still be grateful that it happened.
  26. Travel Alone. I went to travel alone for the first time and it was a fulfilling journey. Through travel, you will be able to do things and explore things on your own. Traveling keeps you grounded and you'll learn about yourself.
  27. Explore and Enjoy things while young. Enjoy things that make you happy and try things you want to explore. It's no wonder how many trials and errors I have gone through. From writing this blog, baking and selling cakes at bazaars and whatever my mind has set-on. I would try to explore and follow the trend and see whether I'd like to continue it in the long haul. 
  28. Celebrate your Milestones. Big or Small it has become a habit that I'll be celebrating with my family or with my friends. I'll bring food from a restaurant or a food place that we haven't tried and have a gathering every time I accomplished something good. With friends, it's either coffee or wine and most importantly is spending the time with the people whom you'd love to share and are happy for your success.
  29. Make a Room for Spiritual Connection. I was once given a book by a friend, Didache, a small book similar to Our Daily Bread. I was this in a black hole and out of the blue someone made me borrow this certain book and made me read aloud. I hated it and then from time to time we meet, it seems I grew fond of it and when Christmas came, I received a book with it coming from her. I started and still trying to have a spiritual connection since then and try to give this book to some of my friends, who knows that this little gesture would have a different effect on them. 
  30. Get out and be seen. Push yourself to the limits get out and be seen. It may be for your career, relationship or just being you. You stand out because you are unique in your own way.

There's a lot of lessons to be leaned and it is not enough to list 30 of it. Turning 30 may be a scary thing and it puts a lot of pressure on you both in silence and of on-point. At the end of the day, it boils down to you and what you want to do next. I'm pretty sure that you've seen Crash Landing on you's Seo Dan's statement, "Single is the new trend.". Let's enjoy life and let the spark coming in.

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